


If I Fell with You

by ThatOneGreyGhost



Category: MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU where Bucky doesn't fall, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Gay Bucky Barnes, M/M, Smut, So much Stucky feels, flufff, gay soldier boys, just a little smut, much fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:54:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29105184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneGreyGhost/pseuds/ThatOneGreyGhost
Summary: An AU where Bucky doesn't fall off the train and is in the Valkyrie with Steve when it crashes. SHIELD pulls them from the ice and immediately has a problem they don't know how to explain.
Relationships: Clintasha, Stucky
Comments: 6
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I just read a fic with some pretty toxic Stucky content and it made me feel icky so here. Much fluff.

Steve catches Bucky's hand at the wrist just as the pole he's hanging by gives way, clattering down the side of the icy canyon to the unseen bottom.

*Holy shit, that could have been me* Bucky barely has time to think before Steve is yanking him into the train car. He's vaguely aware of the sensation that this shouldn't have happened, that he shouldn't be safe. He pushes the feeling away, more focused on the battle in front of him.

They fight, they win, and they get back to that pub in France where Steve first convinced the rest of the 107th to join his team. *This one* Bucky thinks, gazing fondly at the exuberant blond. *I fell in love with this one*.

Steve smiles at him from across the pub, and Bucky gets the feeling again that this is something he isn't supposed to have. He pushes it away, this time for good.

The next few days blur into each other, and then they are fighting, him and Steve, against that sick bastard The Red Skull. Peggy is yelling for their location on the comms, and then the comms cut out entirely, and The Red Skull uses that stupid glowing box, and the Valkyrie dives nose first into the Arctic. He and Steve lie on the floor, waiting for death to come, and at the last minute as the ice water rushes up to meet them, Bucky presses his lips to Steve's, and then he knows only darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Fury." Nick would really rather be at home right now, but of course whatever investigation of that stupid wreckage has interrupted his personal time. Again.

"Remember those old Captain America shorts they showed during the WWII unit of history in high school?" Maria sounds oddly... concerned? Worried? Angry? Nick can't place that tone in her voice.

"I vaguely recall something like that, yes." Nick continues to flip through the most recent report he's gotten from Barton. Something about a Norse God and a hammer? Barton was one of Coulson's boys, they handled all the weird stuff. "Why?"

"We found the plane he went down in." Maria says hesitantly.

Nick is silent for exactly 23 seconds. Maria has to be kidding. That plane went down at the end of world war two, SHIELD has been searching for it for seventy years, give or take.

"You're serious." He resumes the conversation, quickly slipping back into work mode. "Anything on him specifically?"

"Just that the rumors about his friend being in the plane were true. And... Something else you should come see".

"I don't have time for this, Hill." Nick sighs, already grabbing his coat. Whatever it is, if Maria won't say over the phone, he's going to have to come down. "It better be worth my precious time".

"It will be, Sir. And Nick?" Maria pauses, very briefly, and Nick finally places her tone of voice- confusion. "You may need to be prepared to rethink everything you think you know".

With that, his star agent hangs up, and the whole way to the recovery site, Nick is thinking about her final words. Be prepared to rethink everything you think you know. What did that mean? And about what? About the Captain? Nick really shouldn't call him that, he's not actually a captain, but out of respect... and what about that damn drug that they supposedly gave him? Would that mean he was maybe still alive? It isn't likely, but then again, he's seen plenty of unlikely things. The patch over his eye is a tribute to that.

"Computer, remind me to feed that bastard son of a bitch when I get home." Nick barks out, referencing Goose, his cat. Well, not his per se, but his for now.

A short three hour trip later, and Nick Fury is standing over the bodies of Captain Steve Rogers and Sergeant James Barnes. Maria had been right to warn him; the two men are laced together, holding each other close. Nick could have believed that it was purely for warmth, or a last gesture of brotherly love, if not for one thing; The two men had their lips pressed very solidly together, and it was by no means an accident.

"Well..." Nick presses his hands to his hips and stares in disbelief. This was going to be a lot to explain to... everybody, actually. "Shit".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rogers wakes up first. That was expected. Nick watches as the nurse he sent in explains that they were found, that he's in a recovery ward in Brooklyn. Nick, however, is watching the man's face. Pure confusion which morphs into an assessment of his surroundings which morphs back into confusion. Nick purposely had their "nurse" dress slightly off to see how fast Rogers would catch it.

It takes exactly ten seconds. The very first thing he says is "Where am I really?" and makes up some bullshit about the ball game. Nick turns his attention to Barnes, who's outfitted the same way, except it's a real nurse in the outfit. Nobody's exactly sure how the fuck Barnes is still breathing, but he is, which means either he's a mutant or he's got something like Rogers' drug in his system, and Nick's willing to bet anything it's the second.

Nick expects both men to be disoriented. He does not expect Barnes to try to put his nurse through the wall. Nick grabs the mic that links to that nurse's comms, watching intently.

"Agent O'Neill! I want you out of there, now!" Nick barks, and the nurse is trying to retreat, but Barnes still comes swinging, yelling something about how "you sick Nazi bastards can go to hell". Nick remembers seeing something in SHIELD's files about how Barnes unit, the 107th, had been captured and experimented on. His theory about something like Rogers' drug is looking more plausible by the minute.

"Hey, Pops." The voice from behind him is soft, joking. Natasha has been back for a while, Nick knows that. He also knows if he once pretended to be startled, she'd never let him hear the end of it.

"What did I say about trying to sneak up on me?" Nick observes as Agent O'Neill actually manages to calm Barnes down, telling him that he survived the crash and he's in a recovery room in Brooklyn. Same story as Rogers, and just like Rogers, he immediately snuffs it out as a lie. "You just get back with Barton, or is he still in Medical?"

"Actually, he did good this time. Helped me with the memories." Natasha sits next to him, tapping Rogers' screen. "Heard you found him. He pass your test?"

"Yeah, actually. Both of them did." Nick smiles at her. Unlike Barton, who was exclusively Coulson's, Nat was his, and she knew it. Best damn spy he's ever seen, and that was before they rescued her in '92. Nat smiles back, bringing a Starbucks frappuccino to her lips. "As I'm sure you've figured out, they were found together".

"You make that sound like it's a problem".

"Barnes had his lips on Rogers' when we found them".

"Ah." Nat sipped her frap again, thinking about the development. "I don't find that too hard to believe, actually. A lot of men in the army are closeted, and especially back then. Plus, it could be one sided. A gesture of love if you think you're going to die. Best to just get it out there, right?"

"Hell no." Nick snorts at Barnes' screen, watching as the nurse explains that someone who can explain will be in to see him shortly. "If I'm dying, I'm taking my secrets with me".

"Sure you are, Pops." Nat nudges the older man fondly, standing and checking her phone as it chimes. "I gotta go. Clint is pitching a fit about being without me".

"You two oughta get married, way you're joined at the hip." Nick rolls his eyes again as Nat giggles.

"Wedding's in June! You're invited." Nat laughs as she waltzes away. Nick watches her go, then turns back to his screens. On both, Rogers and Barnes, though separated, ask similar questions and both listen intently.

"Hm." Nick grunts absentmindedly, then into his comms; "Set up a conference room. I want to talk to them".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve fidgets as he sits in the empty room, waiting for whoever summoned him there to show up. The door clicks as the lock is disengaged, but when he looks up, a familiar face meets his.

"Bucky." The brunet's name forces itself out of his mouth, and his voice breathless, relieved. Steve's vision blurs as he stands, crosses the room and takes Bucky into his arms, shivering violently as tears spill over. "Buck, you're okay. You're okay".

Bucky hesitates before returning the gesture, his own body shaking. Stifled gasps escape them both, and eventually they sink to the floor, unable to stand under the oppressive weight of relief.

"They said-" Bucky cuts off, and Steve can hear Bucky biting his lip, a nervous habit that he never seemed able to break. "They said we were in the future. That we died, or everybody thought we did. They said we were-"

"-In there for seventy years, I know." Steve finishes, grabbing a fistful of Bucky's hair. God, he wants to kiss Bucky so bad right now. "It's ok. We're ok. As long as we're together, yeah?"

"God, Stevie, I'm so scared." Bucky shivers again, and Steve wants to tighten his grip, to never let go. "I don't think I've ever been this scared in my life".

"I know. I know." Steve tries desperately not to let on just how scared he is. He feels Bucky shudder in his arms again, and he's sickened by how grateful he is for the whole incident. After joining the army, he had been placed under particular scrutiny. Who knows when the next time he'd get to hug Bucky like this would be?

The sound of a lock, and though Steve didn't want to let go, he found himself drawing away. A tall, bald, black man with an eyepatch and a scowl on his face pokes his head into the room. He's wearing mostly black, and Steve gets the feeling they'll be seeing a lot of this man in the future, whether they like it or not.

"You motherfuckers done bawling your eyes out?" The man says in a harsh voice, and Steve instantly scowls. How dare they talk about his Ma like that? How dare this stranger imply-

"Excuse me?" Steve feels the words leave his mouth even before he stands, but Bucky is tugging at his slacks, muttering "Stevie, no" as he stalks forward. " I dare you to say that again, you piece of-"

"Forgive him, he can be a little brash. But the files weren't wrong about you constantly wanting to throw hands, at least." The voice comes from the back of the room, and Steve whirls to see a redheaded young woman in tight fitting pants and an extremely low cut cream blouse smiling at him. He isn't sure how she's gotten in the room, since both doors are locked and he would have heard her enter if she'd used a key.

"Um, hello." Bucky says from his place on the floor. "Is that a normal outfit for the future, or is there just a whore in the building?"

"This is normal, though I can understand the culture shock." The redhead laughs, extending her hand to them both. "My name's Natasha. You can call me Nat".

"Pleasure to meet you, Nat." Steve says, taking her hand. He can feel her studying him, though he's confident she sees him doing the same. It's not rude if they're both doing it, right? "I don't know about now, but when I was a kid, 'Motherfucker' was considered an insult".

"Oh, it still is. Nick's just like that." Nat smiles as she bounces away, taking a seat at the far end of the table. Steve pulls Bucky to his feet and joins her, one boy on either side. As the black man, the person Nat called "Nick", walks to the front of the room, a blond man pokes his head in the other door, then slips inside.

"Tasha, save me." The blond man leans against the door, faking a panicked look. "They're after meeeeeeee!"

"Clint. Go back to Medical." Nat says, pulling a small, flat box out of her pocket and tapping its glowing surface before turning to Steve. "This is Clint. He's my partner, and he's also a huge idiot. Don't pay any attention to him".

"I'd resent that if it weren't true." Clint sticks his hand out for Steve to shake. "Clint Barton. You guys new around here?"

"Something to that effect. Steve Rogers." Steve gives a wan smile, but Clint's expression instantly drops into shock. "What?"

"No freaking way. Tasha-" Clint turns and meets the redhead's eyes, and Steve watches as she gives a quick nod. "No freaking way. How did they feel about a woman being one of the ones in charge?"

"Given that they both knew Agent Carter very well?" Nick turns to glare at Clint, but Steve is more content to watch the situation unfold. "They're fine with it. Go back to Medical, Barton, or I'll call your handler".

"You'd risking getting Coulson in here?" Nat laughs dryly. "Good luck, he'd have a nerdgasm over these two".

"That is one hundred percent true, Phil would totally get a nerd boner. I'll save you the trouble and tell him myself." Clint gives a sharp salute and quickly leaves the room.

"Right..." Steve says. "Can I ask a question?"

"Can I ask several?" Bucky chimes in.

"Yes, of course." Nat smiles at them, and Steve gets the feeling that she will be a good friend and a useful ally.

"When you said partner-"

"I meant both in the field and at home. And yes, I'm aware of how emotionally dangerous it is to date a spy, but, then again..." Nat gestured at herself. "If one of us goes, the other probably won't be far behind".

"You're a spy?" Bucky asks.

"Yes. And a good one at that. I don't suppose you'd be happy to know HYDRA is still around?"

"...Fuck".

"Yeah, fuck is right." Steve agrees, stifling a yawn. As much as he wants to learn, he's also exhausted, largely due to the fact that he's been in cyrostasis for seventy years. His metabolism is struggling to keep up, or rather, his metabolism is making it hard for him to keep up. Bucky also looks tired, and while they both retain information extremely well, most of what is being said is flying right past them.

"I can see you're tired, so I'll get you guys some rooms and you can sleep, yeah?" Nat says after Steve stifles a yawn for the fifth time. Bucky mutters something, and while Steve can hear it perfectly, Nat tilts her head, confused. "Pardon?"

"Can we room together?" Bucky asks a little louder, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't want to be alone, and it's a new environment, and-"

"You don't have to justify yourself to me. I can make that happen." Nat smiles warmly, and Steve takes notice that Nick has left the room. "We'll get you up to speed tomorrow, ok?"

Steve nods and lets himself be guided to a room with two twin sized beds and a very plain dresser. There are no windows, and as Steve takes notice of the quiet he realizes the room is sound proofed. Another pang of guilt runs through him when he realizes just how badly he wants to take Bucky aside and tell him that he remembers the kiss, he liked it, and he's been waiting for a long time for any sort of hint that Bucky might love him back. But he doesn't know how to say it, and what if he just dreamt it? Silently, he resigns himself to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky's eyes won't fucking stay shut. He listens to the sound of Steve's soft snore, listens to his own breathing, but he can't fall asleep. He's too hyperaware of his new surroundings, of the fact that when they found him and Steve, they must have found them with his lips pressed to Steve's, since he didn't remember pulling away. He wonders why they let him see Steve again, why he hasn't been dragged off or shot or beaten to death. Maybe, in the future, they didn't care? Or maybe he had pulled away and just didn't remember. He doesn't know anymore, he just wants to sleep. Bucky closes his eyes again, focusing on his breathing.

"Nooo." The soft moan gets his attention just as he starts to drift off. Steve is on his right, moaning and twitching in his sleep, flat on his back like when they were in the barracks and didn't sleep in the same bed. Those times had been less frequent than their pre-war days, largely because Steve didn't need his heat. If anything, thanks to Zola's experiments, it's the opposite now; Bucky always feels cold, especially at night, and needs Steve's warmth to feel comfortable.

"Noooooooo!" The moan came again, and Bucky slips silently out of his bed and into Steve's, pressing his forehead against Steve's shoulder as he runs a hand up and down Steve's back. The twitching slows to nothing, but the moans do not stop, and Steve starts crying in his sleep.

"S'ok, Stevie." Bucky murmurs quietly, and Steve almost seems to respond to it. "It's ok, I got you, Stevie, I-"

*I Love You* He thinks, but he doesn't say it, and silently, he begins to cry himself. What if he's ever found out, or worse, Steve rejects him entirely? He doesn't think he could handle losing such a good friend, especially not now. It would be too much.

"I got you, Stevie, it's ok. Just go back to sleep, alright? I'll protect ya from the monsters".

Steve seems to settle, and Bucky himself eventually drifts off.

*I missed this* Is the last thing he thinks before falling into his dreams.


	2. Awaken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky say "I love you". As they begin to navigate their new surroundings, they learn more about the freedom they have, and the love they're allowed to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically everything I wanted to write before but was too tired to.

Steve is vaguely aware of someone's sharp nose digging into his back, but lethargy keeps him from moving to investigate. He's tired and wants sleep. He's allowed that, at least. He's not in Europe anymore.

His eyes snap open at that thought. He's not in Europe anymore. That actually happened, the Valkyrie crashed into the Arctic and he and Bucky... Bucky...

Bucky is here. Bucky is with him, Bucky is like him, and when they crashed, he kissed-

"You think too loud, Rogers." Bucky mumbles behind him, almost settling back into sleep before jolting up, panic evident on his face. Steve takes his hand, confirming with a single look what they both already know; they are together in a strange time. Home was 70 years ago, and they can never go back to it.

"This is real." Bucky says it like a statement, but means it like a question.

"Yes." Steve whispers, his own voice harsh. Had he cried out in his sleep the night before? He knew of soldiers who screamed themselves hoarse from nightmares, and he had begged God not to let any such thing happen to him. He doesn't want to become like the soldiers with haunted eyes and shaking limbs, the ones who could hear ghosts and drove themselves to insanity trying to be free of them.

"Hey." Bucky snaps under his nose, jolting him away from his train of thought. "We will get through this. What happened, what we had, it's gone now. We can't dwell on the past, or it will kill us. We have to move forward".

"What if I can't?"

"We have to".

They don't say anything more. Steve eventually gets up and takes a shower, hot water scalding his skin as he desperately tries to ground himself. There's far too much noise in his head, and try as he might, he can't quiet it. Bucky calls his name, and he struggles to pull himself through the depths of his mind, but his thoughts are a raging ocean, and he is close to drowning...

"Steve!" The hand at his shoulder pulls him back, and the transition dizzies him, it happens so fast. He's sitting on the floor of the shower, and though he appears uninjured, his sore behind tells him he slipped and fell. Bucky shakes him, calling his name, panic lacing his voice. Something white moves in the corner of his vision, and as he turns to look, he hears his name again. "Steve! Wake up!"

"What?" Steve whips his head around so fast he's surprised his neck doesn't snap. "I'm here, what's wrong? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, but you... you were just sitting there. You weren't responding to me, or anything. You almost-" Bucky pauses, glancing away, fear evident in his face. "You almost seemed dead".

"I'm alright, I just... I was thinking, is all." Steve can see the way Bucky wrinkles his nose, like he's just eaten something that doesn't entirely agree with him. Bucky nods slowly, concern still prominent in his actions. Steve begins to brush his hair away, then is brought back to it. It doesn't look wet, lacking the darkness it acquires when it has been thoroughly soaked. Steve leaves the shower, drying his body and hair as Bucky takes his turn. Maybe it's just a trick of the light.

A glance in the mirror and several repeated drying attempts prove it's not. His hair has taken on a much lighter color, to the point where it is very nearly white. Steve can't explain it, and neither can his friend.

"It was like that when I woke up this morning. I thought it was the lighting until I saw you in the shower." Bucky frowns at the mirror as a toothbrush dangles from his mouth. "Maybe it's the serum?"

"It's not." Steve inspects the roots of his hair. He's heard that bleach can lighten the color of your hair, but it leaves traces. His inspection leaves him more confused; the hair is evenly changed all the way around.

"Maybe our hosts will have answers for us." Bucky offers, throwing the word about as if they are merely guests at a hotel. Steve refuses to think about the alternative; they are prisoners, and maybe not even of their own government.

"My ears are burning!" The redhead's voice reaches them even from their room. "How did you two sleep?"

"We slept fine. Can you answer a question?" Bucky brings the redhead- Steve thinks her name is Natasha- in, and she almost seems startled by the transformation of his hair, but if she is, she quickly recovers.

"I think we need to talk to Nick." She offers.

Steve doesn't say anything about the ocean in his mind. He's not sure if he can.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wait, so it's just like that?" Bucky asks. Two doctors and a scientist of some kind have been brought in to verify that Steve's hair has indeed gone naturally white. His friend looks largely uncomfortable with the news, but Bucky's just confused.

"Yes. That can happen sometimes, with cases of extreme shock." Tasha, the nice redhead from yesterday, explains as she checks a few forms. "Have either of you been experiencing hallucinations, moments of disassociation, or any physical pain?"

"I don't understand half of what you just said." Bucky responds with a joking tone.

"Ok, let's start with the first one. Hallucinations, you know what those are?"

"Sure, you get them when you're crazy. Or bent up on something. You start seeing things that aren't there".

"Not always." Tasha smiles patiently. "Sometimes you hear things that aren't there, or even feel things that aren't there. It isn't just sight".

"Freaky." Bucky stands, his thumbs hooked in his pockets. As scared as he is, he feels far more comfortable here than he did the day before. He almost feels excited; they're in the future! The actual, honest-to-god future, with flying cars and no more sickness and who knows what else. Howard talked a lot of junk about how things were gonna be, but Bucky never thought he'd live to see it.

"Ok, next one. Do you know what disassociation is?"

Bucky shakes his head, then pauses. Should he know? Tasha did just ask about hallucinations, was it possible she thought they were crazy? And she was just testing them to see if she could get them committed? Bucky feels a sharp chill as he thinks back on the kiss he left with Steve when they crashed. If they knew, but couldn't prove it, they would try to get them locked up on something else.

*She can't know* Bucky thinks, and his actions become a little more reserved.

"Disassociation is when... this actually is going to be harder to explain." Tasha muses for a moment, then snaps her finger. "You know what shell-shock is?"

Bucky nods slowly. Neither of them has it, at least he doesn't think, but he's seen guys go crazy from it and get dragged away, locked up. It was kind of ridiculous to him; they fought a war and their reward was insanity? That didn't seem very fair.

"We call it something different now. It's called PTSD, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and it's very common in soldiers especially, but it can happen to anyone who's been through a traumatic event, such as abuse, or rape, or even an injury that results in waking up several years in the future." Tasha pauses, and Bucky feels a sharp snap of anger.

"I'm not fucking crazy." He growls. "I'm not shell shocked. I'm not crazy".

"I never said you were. I just said it's likely you have PTSD. I'd be very surprised if you didn't." Tasha seems to gauge him, then pulls out that little black box she's used before. After a few sharp taps, she brings it to her ear, like a radio. "Romanov. Yeah, I need a psych eval for our guests. Yeah, it's bad".

Bucky feels the sharp anger again. So, she's already made up her mind about what to do with them. His guess is shocks, like all the other queers that ever got caught, and maybe, if he's lucky, they'll turn his brain to mush when they're done. Not that he won't fight like hell to get away first.

"Hey, be nice to them?" Tasha is finishing up. She may be a spy, but she doesn't look that strong. He could probably take her. "They don't exactly come from a time where this is normal. They might be a little adverse to the idea. Hell, I know Barnes is, he's sizing me up as we speak".

That catches Bucky by surprise, and as Tasha listens to the box, she gives a sharp laugh.

"Yeah, I'll save you a piece if he does, though I'm pretty sure he won't try it again." She grins, then nods once. "Got it. Bye".

The box goes back in her pocket, and she looks up at Bucky, turning her full attention towards him. Bucky takes a step back when she makes eye contact, because he's only ever seen that look in the eyes of one person; Peggy Carter. And Peggy scared the living shit out of him.

"Let me make it perfectly clear that if you attack me, you will lose. If you attempt to kill me, you will fail. And in the very unlikely event you succeed in either of those things, you will not make it very far out the door before you are eliminated. Do I make myself clear?"

Bucky nods again, his adam's apple bobbing in fear.

"Good. Sit down, let's have a chat." Bucky sits without question. This woman is made of the same thing as Peggy and if Bucky's learned one thing, it's that you don't fuck with women like Peggy. "I understand that you grew up in an era of unjustifiable prejudice, and I understand it will have left you with some habits that will be hard to shake. But I need you to understand that when I say a lot has changed, I don't just mean technology or warfare. I mean societal acceptance of things your generation would have had to hide. For example..."

*She knows, she knows, she knows, she knows*

"Mental illness. Many people are more open about their mental illnesses and disorders because society is more tolerant. I know me and my partner both have PTSD, and we're both fucked up from it and other things." Bucky remembers meeting Clint, Tasha's partner. He's confused by the statement; Clint doesn't look shell shocked. Neither does Tasha, now that he thinks about it. "And Clint is also hearing impaired. He has near total hearing loss and has lost 80% of hearing in both ears. He also doesn't like to wear his hearing aids, so if he doesn't respond to you, that's why".

Bucky is floored. A deaf person? Working as a spy in the government? Working as a well respected spy in the government? and 80% hearing loss in both ears? Bucky remembers a time when being just a little deaf in even one ear could get you a 4F, or even fired from a normal job. And Clint seemed to function perfectly fine yesterday, he never would have guessed it.

"I can see you need a second to process all this." Tasha gets up and gathers her things to leave. That seems to trigger the questions.

"He can't hear? But he doesn't act like it! And he responded fine to you yesterday and you weren't facing him or nothing! And what do you mean, you're both shell shocked? Neither of you acts it, and nobody hides it that good! How are you both allowed to work here if you're both crazy and one is crippled?"

"I prefer the term 'hearing impaired', but I'll let it slide since you grew up in the 40's and don't know better yet." Clint's voice comes from behind him, startling him out of his chair. Tasha starts laughing as he looks between them, baffled. "And I can hear, just not very well. 80% hearing loss means that I can hear naturally, but it's extremely difficult. I use these to pick up most of the slack".

Clint pulls off a wire that threads into his ear, a small bulb popping out as he tugs it. The bulk of the device is a disgustingly bright purple, and has screw holds in certain places. Clint pulls a matching device out of his other ear, then sticks them in his pockets and waves at Bucky, who slowly waves back, mesmerized.

"Wait, so those help you hear?" Bucky asks, glancing at the pocket Clint put the devices in. "Weird".

"Can you look at me when you speak? I can't read you lips if you're looking down, and I can't hear you very well either." Clint laughs at the startled look that involuntarily slips across Bucky's face. "I's ok, man, I just wanna hear what you're saying".

"Oh. Sorry." Bucky has a million other questions, but can't seem to make himself ask them. "So, does anyone else know about your..."

"Yeah, pretty much everybody who works here. It's pretty funny to watch new recruits stumble around with me before they figure out I can get on just fine. Some of them yell at me and I'll make a point to take these out and yell back." Clint puts the devices back. "The plus side is pretty much everyone here knows ASL. They're already supposed to but some don't actually learn it until they get to our department. It's fun to watch the assholes cram".

"So, nobody makes fun of you?"

"Nope! Well, there's the occasional idiot, but that's mostly new people and they learn pretty quick not to mess with me. Plus, in the unlikely event I miss, Tasha is there to beat them up".

"Something you're fully capable of doing yourself." Tasha says, standing next to Steve. "Can you get someone from Medical up here? Preferably someone with experience in the Psych department".

"What's wrong?" Bucky asks. He can't believe he's just now noticing this, but Steve hasn't said anything for the past fifteen minutes, and that's more than a bit strange, because Steve was half deaf before the serum and he should have perked up the second he heard about Clint.

"I think he's disassociating. Has he done anything like this before?" Tasha shakes Steve lightly, and he doesn't respond, simply staring blankly at the floor.

"No, I don-" Bucky stops, remembering what Tasha said. People are more accepting now, right? Time to put that to the test. "He did this in the shower earlier, actually. He was just staring, wasn't talking, wasn't moving. He seemed kinda lost when I finally got his attention, like he didn't fully know where he was".

"Fuck. Ok, I need you to say his name. Try and get his attention, but don't panic. They always come back, sometimes it just takes a while." Tasha turns to Clint, waving her hands furiously. Clint nods, then quickly leaves the room.

"Stevie, wake up. C'mon, Stevie, wake up, wake up." Bucky continues to shake his friend's shoulder, panic rising in him. "Stevie, wake up!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Someone is calling his name. He can hear it, faintly, but he can't see the person. He can't see anything, actually. Where is he?

Steve tries to move his body; arms, legs, head, whatever. Nothing moves. He feels... stuck. No, not stuck. Stuck would imply he's trapped in some manner, but he's not. He can leave, he's fully aware of that. It's simply a manner of getting up and walking to the door.

Except there is no door. There's no floor or ceiling or anything. He's just... there. In this place with no beginning or end or middle. Unable to move in any form or fashion, but not stuck. No, not stuck at all, he can leave any time.

"Steve!" Someone is calling his name again. Something pushes his shoulder, and he sways slightly in the direction of the push, dislodging his body. See, not stuck. He brings his arms up, holding his hands in front of him and slowly opening and closing his hands, moving in a pattern from fists to palms to fists. His body feels strangely heavy, and his movements feel sluggish and out of sync.

"Steve! Wake up!" The voice comes again, but it's louder, closer this time. Steve suddenly feels like he's choking, like he's at the bottom of a dark lake and he's gone too deep. With a push, he feels himself rushing up, desperate for air. The sounds and touches become louder, sharper, clearer, and suddenly he's surfacing and everything is bright and he's dizzy and-

"Whoa, careful!" a small hand grabs the lower half of his left arm, and he feels his body swaying. A stronger, bigger hand is gripping his right shoulder, preventing him from moving any further. Slowly, the hands push him back into his sitting position, and he manages to look up to thank his helpers.

Familiar blue eyes meet his, and they are filled with worry and concern. To his left, sharp, green eyes, and tousled red hair. Natasha, that was her name. He'd had so much trouble remembering that earlier. Why? Her name isn't uncommon or particularly unique. Natasha is in fact a very ordinary name, he had known several Natashas when he was younger.

"Yep, that's definitely disassociation. I'll see if I can't find you guys a therapist." Natasha is saying, and something in him reacts with a sharp stab of panic. It takes him several more seconds than it should to realize that's because therapists were people you saw if you were crazy. And he most definitely is not crazy, no sir, he's healthy of body and mind.

"Thank you. I'm so scared, I don't know what to do. I know you said it's different now, but part of me keeps thinking that any second now the cops are gonna barge through that door and I'm never gonna see my friend again." That was Bucky's voice. Shut up, Bucky, you're gonna get us both in trouble.

"Jesus, they really did that? I always figured people got jumped at work or whatever, but I never knew that happened to them in their own homes." Natasha shakes her head, a look composed of disgust and pity crossing her face. It's a look he's seen plenty of times before, often at church when people told him it was "So sad he was sick" or "So sad his mother died" or even "So sad you won't live to see your 20th birthday".

"Yeah, you weren't supposed to talk about it. Keep your head down, say nothing, see nothing. Don't be seen. Get out alive." Shut up Bucky! "I guess it's why I don't do so well with the idea of someone poking around in my head. I think, even though I know better, it'll take a while to shake".

"You tryin' to get us in trouble?" Steve growls under his breath, which gets Bucky's attention.

"Hey! You're back!" Back? He never left. "Tasha's gonna get someone who'll help, and then she's gonna teach me about the new rules of society. I'll tell you about it, ok?"

"What do you mean?" Steve tries to pretend he didn't hear them talking about him. He finds it hard to believe Bucky would sell him out like that, but he doesn't know how long they were in the ice for. If they're trying to judge their mental state, wouldn't it make sense to lower their inhibitions?

"Steve, you went completely blank. you weren't responding to me or her, you weren't moving, Tasha says your heartbeat was irregular. You cannot look me in the eye and tell me nothing's wrong".

Steve glares at Bucky, who glares right back. Steve watches Natasha out of the corner of his eye, then shoots to his feet when she leaves, pinning Bucky to the wall as anger flares in his eyes. Bucky pushes against him, fear briefly lacing his expression.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Steve hisses. Bucky's expression flashes from fear to panic to anger. "You're going to get us both locked up! You can't trust anybody here!"

"Stevie, we don't have a choice. And they don't do that anymore, Tasha said so." Bucky pushes against Steve, throwing him off of the brunet. "Jesus, pinning me up like that. What's gotten into you?"

"'Tasha said so'. If she's in on it, do you think she'd tell you the truth?"

"Steve, do you hear yourself?" Bucky rolls his eyes. "In on what? And answer me honestly. What are you so afraid of?"

"I- I don't know." Steve murmurs, dropping to the floor as he begins to cry. "I'm so scared, Buck, but I don't know what to be afraid of".

"When you don't know what to be alarmed about, everything is alarming." Bucky nods as he sits next to Steve, taking the shaking man into his arms. Steve buries his face in Bucky's shoulder, stifled gasps threatening to choke him to death. Bucky murmurs quietly as he tries to calm down, but he finally manages to look Bucky in the eye, and the amount of pure love and gratitude that pierces his heart terrifies him before he can even comprehend what's happening, and suddenly his lips are crashing against Bucky's, salty tears meeting sweet lips.

Steve isn't sure how long Bucky stays on the floor with him, but finally they pull away from each other, and Steve is breathless and crying for a very different reason. Bucky's eyes are red and puffy, much like his, but he's also smiling, and suddenly it's all he can do not to laugh, because this is happening, it's actually happening, and it's even better than he imagined. Bucky embraces him, and he's terrified and overwhelmed and so excited, and he wouldn't take it back even if he could, and if he gets sent in front of heaven and all its angels for it, then he'll face God and laugh as he's thrown into hell. It's a quick, brazen love, one that takes him by storm, and Steve can't even express the lengths he will go to to protect what he has.

"We're doing this." Steve says quietly. Bucky nods, answering the question he didn't know he was asking. "Okay then. We're doing this".

"Can I ask how long?" Bucky murmurs quietly.

"Since Azzano. I was so relieved to see you in a way I wasn't expecting. It took me a few days to figure it out, but once I did, I was so scared".

"Peggy?"

"I liked her too, but more as a friend. It was easier, and less dangerous for both of us, if I went after her. And she would have let me".

"Ok." Bucky nods again, then stands, pulling Steve to his feet. Steve takes a minute to get his bearings, then follows Bucky, who's asking for Natasha. Nat, she likes to be called Nat.

He's going to have to remember that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony Stark is an asshole.

To be fair, so was Howard. But Howard at least was patient, willing to explain. Tony is the exact opposite, brash and loud and impatient with everybody and everything.

Bucky is going to have to to have to stop thinking about the differences or he's going to drive himself crazy.

Tony starts saying something about how "everything special about you came out of a bottle" to Steve, and Bucky decides he's had enough. He stands and steps in front of Steve, which earns him a bit of an undignified whine. Tony almost looks excited by the prospect of a fight, but Bucky shuts it down.

"Listen, I don't know what you're issue is with us, but it stops here. We have bigger problems, so either leave your petty attitude at the door or get out." Bucky steps closer, which visibly unnerves Tony. "But if you think I'm going to stand by while you decide to insult my friend, you got another think comin'. Come on, Stevie".

Steve visibly starts when Bucky grabs his wrist, yanking away before he can stop himself. Bucky slows down, then pulls him back towards their seats.

"Jeez, get a room why don't you?" Tony snorts. Bucky stiffens, then forces himself to calm down. Tony probably doesn't know, he's just being an asshole.

"Stark. Play nice." Tasha says, playing with the thing she called a phone. She tries to hide it from them, but Bucky knows she's playing a game with pieces of candy that drop on the screen.

"Oh, really, Natalie?" Tony's tone conveys he's trying to be contrary.

"Why do you call her that?" Bucky asks Tony, hoping to diffuse some of the obvious animosity he carries.

"What?"

"Why do you call her 'Natalie'? Her name is Natasha".

"She's a spy, that's why. And she's going to regret going up against me." Tony wrinkles his nose at Tasha, which confuses Bucky more until he realizes that that's the point. Tony's body is withdrawn, his arms close to his body and his shoulders together rather than squared back. He's nervous, immensely so, and he's hiding it with bravado and arrogance.

"I understand you don't like me much, but let me say now that I will never lie to you. Black Widows are deadly things, and I do not miss the life I left behind." Tasha stands and leaves the room, glancing over her shoulder as she stands in the doorway. "Clint, darling, see if you can't talk to them for me".

With that, she's gone. Steve gives a low whistle, seeing what Bucky already knew was there.

"Peggy would've loved her." He says with clear admiration. Bucky nods, then notices something in how Tony relaxes a little.

"You knew Peggy." Bucky says. Tony does something that almost looks like a flinch, then glances away.

"My dad knew her. I was just there".

"I find that hard to believe. Peggy loved kids." Steve muses. "If she continued to speak to Howard, I can't imagine she wouldn't have talked to you".

"Yeah, well, she was there to see a friend, not his dumb kid." Tony looks away, which alerts Bucky to the fact that he's hiding something. "She wouldn't want someone interrupting her time with a friend".

"You're joking, right?" Bucky snorts. A blank look from Tony tells him all he has to know. "Peggy hated Howard. Most of the girls on her team did. The only reason I can imagine Peggy keeping contact with Howard is missions or Maria, and the former is more likely".

"Seriously?" Tony acts as if he's never noticed this.

"Yes, seriously. I mean, we lived in Europe with her for a year, we'd know." Steve gives half a laugh. "Oh, she'd be so pissed if she knew".

"She'd be pissed at you. She loved me." Bucky gives a shit eating grin that results in him almost eating a file folder. "Did you just throw classified information at me?"

"Break your tooth on the 'top secret' seal?" Steve sticks out his tongue before catching the withering glare of Agent Hill from across the room. He sits up straight, clearing his throat as he does so. "Sorry".

"Right. Anyway, what are we going to do about this idiot calling himself a god?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Truth or dare?" Nat throws a badly carved foam potato at Steve, who lets it hit him it the face. He's upside down on the couch, sketching the Christmas tree with his new leather bound sketchbook that he got this morning.

"Um, truth".

"Are you dating anyone right now, and if yes, who?"

Steve gives Bucky a nervous glance. Natasha promised she wouldn't tell anyone! She promised, and even though both of them know it's different now, they're both still scared.

"Clint dared me a few rounds ago to ask the meanest question I could think of, so I'll do a different one if you guys want." Steve lets out a sigh of relief.

"Yes, that would be preferable".

"Boo! Answer the question, pussies!" Tony slurs drunkenly from the couch.

"Few too many eggnogs there, Tony." Bucky rolls his eyes at Tony, who sticks out his tongue. "Oh, shush, you know I'm right".

"How about, what's something about the future that surprised you?" Nat smiles, and Steve wants to think it over, but he already knows what his answer will be.

"Simple, advances in medicine. I never would have imagined a cure for polio or measles, but it exists now. I could get the serum taken away and I'd be fine, because they have better medicines and can actually keep me safe during recovery".

"Hm." Nat hums, and Steve knows she was expecting something else. "Your turn".

"Um, Bruce." Steve throws the foam potato at the suddenly alert doctor. "Truth or dare?"

"Um, I'm not playing..." Bruce blushes slightly, and Steve nods, holding his hand out. 

"That's ok, I'll pick someone else".

"Brucie, you're no fun." Tony slurs, falling into Bruce's lap as the doctor squawks. "You're hella cute though. Got that going for you. Cute body, sexy mind".

"You are definitely drunk." Bruce sighs, but Steve is still stuck on what Tony just said. He may have been drunk, but anyone who knew anything about queers knew it didn't work like that. Steve is so taken aback that he almost doesn't notice himself spiraling out. Almost.

"Steve!" Bucky shakes his shoulder, yanking him from his thoughts. He looks up and gives the brunet a weak smile. "There you are. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, fine." Steve blinks a few times as he notices Tony, Bruce, and Nat staring at him. Nat drops her gaze as soon as he makes eye contact, but the others look scared. "Can I have some water?"

Bucky nods and goes to the kitchen to do just that, but Steve hardly notices for the way Tony is staring at him.

"Um, what the shit was that?" Tony slurs. Steve feels his cheeks grow hot with embarrassment.

"I, uh, that happens sometimes. It's nothing." Steve looks away, shame coloring his face.

"Bullshit. You sick?" the words catch on Tony's mouth, coming out twisted.

"Its not really any of your business." Bucky snaps, but Steve waves him off.

"It's ok, they were going to find out eventually. I-" Steve hesitates, then pushes forward. "I have PTSD, and it causes me to disassociate sometimes. Fear is a pretty strong trigger for that, but for the most part, I'm ok. It doesn't ever happen in battle, which is kind of weird, but it does happen".

"Huh. And I thought I was messed up." Tony laughs until Nat cuts him off with a withering "That's because you are, Tony". He glares at her, and she gives him a little smile.

"If you don't mind me asking, you said fear was a trigger?" Bruce says quietly. Steve nods, and Bruce takes that permission to continue. "What was it that we said that set you off?"

"I'm actually not comfortable with revealing that information." Steve says quickly, too quickly, but Bruce backs off, not pressing the issue outside of "If it comes up again, we don't want to trigger you". Steve assures him that they won't, he was just caught off-guard, and that's the end of it from Bruce.

It's not the end of it from Tony, though. 

"It's cuz I was flirting with you." Tony gives Steve a suggestive wink, and Steve feels his face drain of color. How did he know? "I got wicked good gaydar, so unless I'm a complete idiot, you're bi as heck".

Steve wants to be terrified, but the label confuses him.

"'Bye'? Like..." Steve gives a little wave as an example.

"No, 'Bi', as in 'Bisexual'. It's sexual attraction to two or more genders, but you can have a preference. I sure do, I like girls more, but boys are cute too".

"Oh." Steve can't explain the overwhelming relief he feels when Tony says that, as if something in him that was tightly wound for a long time suddenly lets go. "Is it... common?"

"Yeah, actually. Studies show that the majority of people are bisexual and are either closeted or straight-passing and just don't experiment. Am I right though?"

"About..."

"You. Am I right?"

Steve can't explain it, but he wants to tell Tony the truth. he opens his mouth to politely tell Tony he won't be answering and-

"Yeah, actually. I didn't know there was a word for it. I'm pretty partial to men, but women are nice." Steve is taken aback by his own confession. He didn't expect that, he didn't expect anything.

"What." Bucky whirls as he drops a glass on the floor. Tony just laughs and fist pumps.

"Yes! Perfect gaydar!" Tony laughs as Steve rolls his eyes. He feels far less scared, and something about what just happened makes him feel free, less trapped. He actually feels safer now that Tony knows.

"Just don't go spilling it, ok?"

"Wait, actually, I wanna do everyone. Can I have everyone's permission to guess?" Tony gets a lot of nods and 'uh-huh's, so he starts. "Ok, so Natasha's on the Ace spectrum. I'm thinking demi or graysexual. Definitely grayromantic, and hetero. Steve is Bi as all fuck, Clint is straight and poly, Thor, I'm thinking pan and poly? Bruce is Ace-Aro, and Bucky... I'm getting strong gay vibes from you, but you also seem pretty strongly demi. Did I get everyone right?"

"What's demi?" Steve asks at the same time Bruce goes "Wow, that was actually really close" and Clint goes "Damn, you have the world's best gaydar".

"Demi, Steven, is when you don't feel sexual attraction until you have a strong emotional bond with the person." Nat smiles, then turns to Clint. "Speaking of poly people, how's Laura?"

"She got pissed at me cuz she thought I meant a threeway and not two separate relationships. I'm pretty sure we broke up." Clint glares at the ceiling from his location on the kitchen counter. "I swear, this happens every time! I explain the relationship, they think its a threeway and are like, go ahead, and then I get dumped when they want all my attention".

"Oh, boo hoo, Clint's complaining even though he lives with the sexiest spy ever".

"Yes, Tony, I do live with myself." Clint says shortly, which gets a laugh out of everybody.

"Also, what do you mean, I'm close?" Tony turns to Bruce.

"Asexual Demi-panromantic. Very close, but not quite." Bruce smiles as Bucky starts pulling at Steve's arm, panicked. Steve gets up as Bruce starts telling the tale of how his first girlfriend introduced him to the concept and then had the nerve to be upset when he started identifying with it. As soon as they're out of everyone's line of sight, Bucky pins Steve to the wall, fear giving way to anger.

"What the hell?" Bucky hisses. "You could have outed me!"

"I didn't. I didn't know Tony was that good." Steve tries to calm Bucky down by drawing him closer, but Bucky pulls away, still upset.

"I thought you said you didn't trust them?"

"I... I can't explain it. Something about the explanation he gave was so... validating, I wanted to tell him. I'm sorry I didn't warn you, I honestly didn't know I was going to do it until I did". Validating. That was the thing he was feeling, validation. That instinctual feeling of 'there's a word for it?' that made him confess the truth.

"I-" Bucky hangs his head, then speaks slowly. "I'm not mad at you. I just think you're trusting too fast, and I'm scared because... I've had to deal with this for longer than you".

"How do you mean?"

"I... I've been in love with you since I was seventeen, Stevie. I've had to hide it since then. It's been, what, a few years by your body's clock? You have no idea what I'm feeling".

"That's fair, but no one is making you tell them. If you don't want them to know, then they won't, ok?" Steve pulls Bucky closer to him, and Bucky allows the touch this time. "I promise, no one is going to hurt you".

"I'll try to remember that." Bucky says quietly, not really believing anything Steve says.

Steve doesn't say anything about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky walks into Tony's workshop and laughs at the scent of oil and lemons. The differences might be there, but Tony is definitely Howard's kid.

"I need your help." Bucky says as Tony glares at him.

"Um, ok?" Tony looks skeptical, but he slides out from under the machine and sits up, a sign he's listening. "What's up, Buckaroo?"

"So, there's this... I have this... I have a partner, and Valentine's is coming up, and I want to make them a custom gift." Bucky winces, knowing that if he goes through with this, everybody will know he and Steve are together. "I was wondering if I could borrow your workshop for the next couple of days".

"Yeah, no problem, but you gotta be willing to share. I'm down here pretty much all the time." Tony slides back under the machine before swearing loudly. "DUM-E, I swear to whatever god is listening, if you don't stop closing your panels while I'm working down here, I'm going to sell you to MIT".

Bucky stops listening after that, cutting out pieces or aluminum and pressing them to empress words and then welding them together. Occasionally, he'll look at the folder he brought with him and realize he did something wrong, but for the most part, he works in silence. He's mostly done when his stomach growls loudly, interrupting his work. He goes upstairs to grab a snack and finds Steve drawing something. Something erotic, by the way he's sitting.

"You're the only person I know who gets off more from drawing a dirty picture than looking at one." Bucky says loudly, startling Steve. Steve gives a sharp glance directly in front of him, and Bucky hopes to all hell that the person sitting in front of him is Tasha. He knows its not, but it doesn't stop him from hoping.

When he hears Bruce exclaim, "oh that's what you're doing", Bucky groans. Shit, Bruce is nice and all, but he cannot keep a secret.

"I, um..."

"I trust you had to deal with this often?" Bruce smiles at Bucky, who gives a curt nod. "Being roommate with someone who draws erotic art must have been hell. Then again, I can't feel sexual attraction so who knows?"

"You ever jerk off to my pictures, Buck?" Steve carries a hint of teasing, something he wouldn't have if Bruce knew, so Bucky comes to the conclusion that the truth has sailed over Bruce's head. "I know there were some girls in there".

"I hate you so much." Bucky mutters, the response that's expected of him. He doesn't say he jerked off to the thought of Steve drawing those picture, to the faces he made as he sketched half-naked men and women, pressed between a tattered leather cover Bucky wasn't allowed to open. He doesn't have to. If Steve was alone in this room, he'd probably sit down and do just that, putting on a show Steve could draw. That would really be something, they should try it later.

"Aw, you did, didn't you?" Steve smiles that shit eating grin and Bucky wants to kiss him so bad, so he grabs his snack and goes back to the workshop.

Over the next few days, his project comes together; a heart made of dog tags, specifically the dog tags of the Howling Commandos, Peggy included, with an engraved center that says "Love from the Commandos". Tony makes fun of him until Bucky points out he's making a bracelet that projects the words "My Pepper".

Valentine's day rolls around, and Bucky leaves the heart on the foot of their shared bed as he sneaks out to make pancakes, nearly tripping over his own gift, a large plush goat and a colored, extremely detailed drawing of Steve, naked and clearly being pinned to the bed. The flowing cursive at the bottom reads "I know you like me like this". It brings color to Bucky's cheeks and heat to his stomach, and he has to go to the bathroom to take care of his little issue before starting on breakfast. By the time he gets it finished, Steve is awake and smiling at his gift. Bucky mentions how much he enjoyed his, and breakfast does not get eaten.

They spend the day out and about, going places they liked as kids and young adults, and discovering a few new places they both enjoy. They finish the day with a sunset and a fancy dinner.

The next day is when things get dicey.

"How did Pepper like her gift?" Steve asks Tony as he complains about how the restaurant he went to the night before wouldn't let him tip the severs separately from the bill.

"Oh, she loved it! She cried and then she punched me, so it was a huge success." Tony smiles wistfully, then comes back to the conversation. "How about yourself? Did you get anything from any special someone?"

"Yeah, actually, I got... Hang on, I'll show you." Steve gets up and grabs the heart, handing it to Tony who immediately recognizes it. "They made this for me. Isn't it amazing?"

"Yeah, excellent craftsmanship." Tony glares at Bucky, who struggles to maintain eye contact. "Barnes, were you going to fucking tell me about this or were you just going to let me find out?"

"The second one." Bucky jokes lightly as Steve turns and gapes at him. "I made it in his workshop. Where do you think I was spending all my time last week?"

"You..." Steve blushes, almost looking relieved. "I should probably mention now that Bruce also knows. He played us both until you left. I couldn't dodge his questions".

"That... actually saves me some trouble. I'm 90% certain Clint knows because Tasha knows, and Thor is just... Thor. He can't do anything about it." Bucky shrugs, feeling relieved himself. "I see what you mean know about how freeing it is to confess".

"Yeah, well." Steve smiles, then walks up and kisses Bucky, hard. Bucky kisses back, greedily drinking down the taste of his boyfriend as Tony tells them to either "Get a room or start stripping", a statement that earns him the middle finger from both men. Bucky plays with Steve's shock-bleached hair, the white shining in the sunlight as the rest of the team comes in and congratulates them for finally feeling comfortable enough to tell the truth.

Bucky doesn't think he's ever been happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all. If someone could draw Steve with white hair please. I legit was like, "Trauma! Steve was legit so shocked his hair turned white" but I wanna see it? Pretty please?

**Author's Note:**

> It's late, I'm tired, part two to follow.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Not Without You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29148006) by [PenBinaryFan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PenBinaryFan/pseuds/PenBinaryFan)




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